Boggled Mind

I can't tell you how many times in the last month, I have gone to my blog and looked at it with a blank stare. I didn't know what to write.

I was in a black hole of writer's block.

At the beginning on the month, I was a nervous wreck as I was interviewing for a new job and gave notice at my old job. Each day I was a bundle of sweaty nerves. It wasn't pretty. I couldn't sleep most nights, which doesn't help when I want to write some profoundly funny item for my blog. Nothing funny was going through my mind.

At all.

By the time I wrapped up my last day of work, I had a To-Do list that was a mile long for my first few days home. There were things that had been piling up during the previous month that I couldn't get to. Instead of taking care of them in a timely manner, I was spending my days at work clenching my nervous stomach (have I mentioned I don't prefer interviews?). The rest of my "free time" was spent volunteering at Isabelle's play practice as a stage crew manager and then I would come home late at night and try to get in some more work. Thus, a pile of things to do at home, that was a mile long and 3 stories high.

I knew the enormousness of this list.

Yes, that is a word. Enormousness. It expresses great girth and giant awesomeness.

The first week I spent tackling the phone calls that had to be done, the grocery shopping that was in dire need and attending to my inbox. Part of the list was consumed with Isabelle's graduation items- parties to plan and countless "last events" to go to at school and turn in money for, and drop off goodies for, and go to school to watch. I was starting to sleep better (how can you not when you are totally exhausted?), especially as things were getting crossed off.

I still found myself opening up my blog, and my mind was still, sadly, blank. I was trying to wrap my mind around Oprah leaving my living room forever and Isabelle graduating and it was just too much to handle. Why were they doing this to me at the same time??

The second week was spent almost 100% at the theater as we were in final rehearsals for the play. In the last 7 days, we put in 50 hours of time for the play. I was sleeping like a rock. However, every night before I fell asleep and every morning when I woke up, the songs from the play would go through my head. Then, by some miracle, there would be a moment during my day when the music stopped. It was a peaceful silence.

It lasted about 4 seconds until Isabelle would start humming one of the songs and I would try not to grind my teeth in frustration.

The play finally wrapped up yesterday and I slept today. Then I slept some more.

It was nice.

Now I have a final "final" list of to-do's for Isabelle's graduation week and one of them is to buy kleenex at Costco. At least 2 carts full should do nicely. I am going to wake up on Thursday and still not know what I am wearing that day because I haven't had the time to figure it out. I still need to bring juice to school for the picnic tomorrow, order the cake, get the dog nails clipped (before I go insane from them clacking on the floor), take the kids to 2 doctor appointments this week, and hit the grocery store no less than 3 times. Because I will forget something. Twice.

Does anyone ever need time off from being a mom? I feel like I do.

So, my mind is still void of anything funny, but I felt it was time to get something posted. A "Diary Entry" of why my life is crazy no matter what it is currently consumed by.

Will I feel calm and collected next week? No, but that is another story for another day.