Your Soccer Instruction Booklet

This is what it looks like when someone wants a piggyback during a game. Izzy is in blue. Refusing to give piggybacks.


This is Isabelle schooling a girl she played with 2 years ago. Isabelle won the ball. I yelled. Excessively.

This is what happens when Isabelle decides to try and kick a ball through someone. Speaking from experience, it doesn't feel awesome.

This is what it looks like when you finally find your place among your new teammates.

This is what a 6 foot tall 13 year old looks like. Isabelle tried to kick a ball through her in a rage of jealousy.

See? I wasn't kidding.

This is what an amazing header looks like from a corner kick (the white team). I only dream about having that kind of coordination.

This is seriously how beautiful it was up in Bellingham. Although, it was 147 degrees the whole time.

This is Isabelle's team. Laying down in an act of defiance refusing to play in 147 dregree weather for one minute longer.

This is what a handball looks like.

It wasn't called.




This is 13 year old mojo being sent across the field to their goalie as the penalty kicks are being taken. They had to go to PK's because the game ended in a tie and it was still tied after overtime.
I was on the sideline getting CPR. I was a little bit stressed and freaking out.

This is me on the phone.

Was I...

A) Making an appointment at a spa because I was so darn sweaty and gross and stressed from the PK's and I just needed some ME time?

B) Calling the Referrees hotline demanding that the handball be called?

C) Calling to get a spray tan because I was so pasty white and a friend commented "Do you allow yourself to get ANY color?" after seeing me in shorts for the first time?

D) Calling the head of the soccer park demanding that they clean the friggin port'o'potties because they were overflowing.

The answer: You don't even want to know.