Article for Winter Storm '08

By Ron Judd, Seattle Times columnist

OK, we know this is about a week late. Somewhere during our move from one section of the paper to the other, the following memo about winter weather ramifications for the Puget Sound region was temporarily misplaced.This stuff happens.But it looks so amazingly prescient now that it's tough to keep it under wraps. So we feel compelled to offer it up today, in the true holiday spirit of we-told-you-so-ism.

Clip and save:To: Western Washington.

From: Salt, Sand and Ceaseless Whining Division, Public Works Department, Escrow Heights.

Re: Winter storm watch.

Residents should be advised that a large weather system, alternately named "Arctic Plunge," "December Blast" and "Holiday Armageddon" by local television stations, is approaching Western Washington.When it arrives, a foot or more of snow throughout the Puget Sound lowlands is possible. Please be prepared for the following likely developments:
1. In an apparent early bid for the 2018 Winter Olympics, the City of Seattle (motto: No, We Can't) will swiftly turn most hilly city streets into bobsled/luge runs by refusing to apply salt to streets, citing concerns about the salt eventually mixing with the saltwater of Puget Sound. It's the first phase of an innovative green-city plan that eventually will preclude the use of piped water to fight fires, out of concern that it might eventually mix with groundwater.
2. Hopes of Seattle residents that streets are finally about to be cleared will be summarily dashed when they realize the city's giant plow trucks are actually fitted with plow blades made of environmentally sensitive hemp lace doilies.
3. Mayor Greg Nickels, D-Sodium Free/Carbon Neutral, will schedule a news conference to declare Seattle's response to the Arctic Plunge an "unqualified success."
4. The U.S. Mail will stop. Cold. Dead. Completely. That package you were expecting with gifts for the kids? Fuggedaboutit. Did you fail to see the asterisk chiseled into that "Neither snow nor rain nor ... " inscription on that NYC post office back in 1992? It's too dangerous to deliver the mail on slippery streets. Never mind if yours is bare, dry, completely sanded and lined with aromatic candy canes. You're not getting your stuff. Understand?.
5. Garbage will pile up for so long that it eventually will compost itself.
6. Successful United Parcel Service deliveries will occur in inverse proportion to how badly you need the stuff being delivered. Customers clicking on tracking numbers will see lots of verbiage about "natural disasters." What can brown do for you? In December, not a helluva lot.
7. Computer network servers hosting the "Where's My Stuff?" data for Amazon.com will heat up, begin to smoke and burst into flames. The company will quickly install a helpful new customer-service Web site feature, "Where the $(#@&! is My !@*$#% Stuff?" to take its place.
8. Hundreds of articulated Metro buses will jackknife in the middle of local streets, where they shall lie in state, like rotting whale carcasses, until skunk cabbages begin to grow out of their wheel wells in the spring. The short buses will run only on routes far, far from your neighborhood and place of work.
9. Alaska Airlines, apparently unaccustomed to flying in places where it's cold, will run out of de-icer when the entire month's supply — contained in a dented stainless steel Thermos bottle carried into work by a nonunion contractor — is exhausted within the first five minutes of the snowstorm. Customers will be urged to rebook flights online, where they will be directed to call an 800 number, which will tell them to book online.
10. Greyhound, taking customer service to a level rarely seen outside North Korea, will shut down all its buses, citing the danger to drivers and passengers. Several dozen passengers stranded in the downtown Seattle bus station will be shoved out into the snow at terminal closing time, then jeered and pelted with iceballs by Greyhound employees going home to their warm houses at night. No refunds will be issued.Passengers eventually will get out of town by chartering their own buses, which will employ innovative, newfangled devices known as tire chains.
11. Gas stations throughout the region will quickly run out of gas, but will remain open to serve you a delightful 48-hour-rotary-wheeled Jumbo Dog, or a pack of gum to chew as a means to keep warm as you spend three nights in your Suburban.
12. You might not get your newspaper on time. Hey, if it's too scary for the Post Office to swiftly complete its appointed rounds, it's too scary for us.Which means some of you won't see this until it's really, really too late. Which makes us wonder if it's even worth bothering.Nevertheless, to all you folks online and elsewhere: Merry Christmas.And pray for rain.
-Ron Judd

A Very American Girl Christmas!

I think the girls have been asking for American Girl dolls for 3 years now. Two years ago we got them fake American Girl dolls. That basically means they are the same size and can wear the clothes and look like them. They knew the difference (and we weren't trying to pull one over on them, but we hoped they saw the wise economical difference). No luck. They continued to ask for them. Isabelle wanted the "Girl of the Year - 2008", Mia, because it looks just like Isabelle. Maria wanted a "Just like Me" doll, very specifically, the one with light brown hair with highlights, blue eyes, and freckles. She would say that whole entire thing every time I asked her what she wanted for Christmas! Here is Isabelle opening hers at my parents. Notice how excited Kim is in the picture - I think she kind of wants one for herself!

Maria opened hers up the next day at Morrie's parents, and was just as surprised herself (although ever hopeful I am sure).

She wouldn't let it out of her sight! I think I was getting a little too close here. Back off Mama!

Christmas: Part I

I have several days worth of posting from all the Christmas pictures and the absurd snow accumulation pictures, so get prepared! Merry Christmas Aaron!!! (because I know you are checking this. So here is Christmas Eve, in typical blogspot fashion, reverse order: Reading "The Night Before Christmas" in Maria's room with 47 thousand dog/horse pictures to keep you company!

Brian and Kim supplied all the kids with Reindeer antler headbands (because if you don't look goofy, it ain't Christmas at our house!). Seriously though, could there BE anymore sisterly love going on here? I can't get enough of this!

Maria is opening Uncle Aaron's gift, the tiny horse box. Perfect for all those special items that little girls collect! I do believe she got some new earrings that will fit just right in there.

Maria opening Uncle Aaron's second gift : the awesome horse coloring kit (my kind of kit!). She was super impressed when we opened it and she saw each item that was included, stickers, stained glass coloring sheets, horse facts, you name it, she has it (don't be surprised if you see me sporting a hrose tattoo on my bicep soon).

Here are the girls right before we started to opened gifts, all the anticipation is just spilling uot of them, they can hardly stand it!! Actually, I think they are annoyed that the adults are taking too long doing God knows what when we should be handing out gifts instead!

Some guys have all the luck! Since mostly women read my blog though, should I be worried that the ladder will somehow end up in my spot in bed? How much can someone even WANT a ladder to begin with?

In case you don't get to hang around any 17 year olds, they like to only be with one another. When they HAVE to be with family (ugh) they like to text each other and talk about how soon they can be together again. You go from unbridled joy as a 10 year old at Christmas to THIS. I don't think I am prepared.

Home for the Holidays

I am really going to run out of Holiday titles here...bear with me. This is Maria...she seems to be saying "Snow Happens Mom". Really though, she just ran and slid on her belly in the yard, and some snow flew up in her face!

Here is one of Isabelle's new ornaments from my Mom. I am trying to figure out how to photograph the ornaments, and this ONE worked, but the other did not. Stay tuned this week as I try again.
This is our FAMILY ROOM!! I finished painting after 3 days. I am pooped! For those of you who have been experiencing the whole downstairs remodel with us, this is the end of a very long 5 months! Yes, we still have to construct the railing...that one is tough!

And here is the house in all it's Christmas glory. I'm not really putting up the pictures for all of you as much as I am for my own reference down the road!

Ahhh, the holiday season...

Maria is romping in the snow drifts outside with the dog, I hope she doesn't lose the dog...

Here is a conversation between Morrie and Ryan, my BIL from yesterday...

Ryan: You guys getting ready for the wind?

Morrie: Yeah, we have all the flashlights out and with the woodstove, we should be okay.

Ryan: (looking at the fireplace) Is that your last peice of wood there?

Morrie: Yeah, but tomorrow is the first day of Hanukkah, so it should last 8 days.

Well, we had no wind but we have 7 inches of snow now, which is much more stauisfying than the 2 1/2 we had!

Merry Christmas Rachel!

And this is all I got you...sigh...it's totally the thought that counts, right?

I am Thankful For:

FRIENDS! Here is Maria (on the far right) and 2 friends.

FAMILY! Isabelle (11) and her cousin Samantha (17!).

RELAXING! Morrie and Annie.

Happy Halloween!

The dog has been washed, we are getting a new sliding glass door today, and the costumes have been secured. It should be a great day!