Thursday, January 17, 2013

37 Things

     Many bloggers have been posting about the great things they are going to do in this wondrous new year of 2013. "35 Things I am going to do the year I turn 35" and they go on to list so many things that I get overwhelmed just reading it. It stresses me out and I don't even know them. "Hike this gorge, reorganize my bedroom, my kids bedrooms and my kitchen, read the most boring biography known to man, take a trip to NYC, record a CD, take 30 yoga classes in 30 days, rip my hamstring..."

     Because these people live the most perfect, satisfying, accomplished lives this side of the Mississippi? PULEASE. These posts seem like really really long lists of New Years Resolutions, and if I can't even do one of those, why would I do 37??

You know what is coming. I know you do. I do. My list of 37 GREAT Momentous FABULOUS things I am going to do in the year 2013 which I turn 37.

1. Take a Nap (as it should be everyone's first priority)
2. Take my girls to the wrong field for practice (you know it will happen eventually, so why not make it seem like an accomplishment?)
3. Read Jim Gaffigan's newest book (I believe the title is "Dad is Fat").
4. Maybe just get it on CD so I don't have to actually do any reading
5. Watch Baby Mama (for the 4th time) and laugh even harder than the first time
6. Watch the Proposal (for the 4th time) because Ryan Reynolds is HOT
7. Try to remember the name of that movie with the other hot guy with "photo shopped abs"
8. Vacuum. At least once
9. Try mopping
10. When weekly grocery shopping, buy all junk food that only I like
11. Spend at least one night a week eating a family dinner while discussing the MLS season, the players, the refs and the media's responses to last weeks games
12. Maybe just think about mopping, and put off actually doing it
13. Take more pictures of the kids. Perhaps actually print some.
14. Blog more. The world needs more sarcasm anyway. Especially in November when people go on and ON about how thankful they are for everything.
15. Go on vacation. Or just leave for the day. By myself.
16. Put up curtains in the kitchen so I don't have to look at our fence that is falling over.
17. Publish something. Anything. Or think about it. Or just make a FB post telling everyone that I am thinking about it.
18. Draw more. And color.
19. Figure out how to really REALLY use my new phone
20. Freak out about my 20 year high school reunion.
21. Get stronger. Even if it just means flossing more so my gums are stronger.
22. Cry about how much I miss having my babies be actually babies
23. Stay in bed for a whole day, and eat the junk food I bought while grocery shopping
24. Spam my brother's phone with random texts
25. Breathe into a bag every night the week before Izzy gets her license and pretend she is nowhere near old enough to do this
26. Enjoy some soccer in the sun (this is the best item yet!)
27. Blog about my best day of high school (since I covered The Worst Day already).
28. Make a list of potential "Best Days" since nothing comes to mind
29. Listen to Maria's essay on my great grandmother, Elsie, and pretend I am 1/8th as capable as she was
30. Go on a date with Morrie (or just walk around the block, or eat together while both kids are at soccer, or just take a second to look at him as we pass each other in the night in this crazy thing we call our life)
31. Go upstairs and completely forget why I am up there (oh wait, did this already!)
32. Wear dark shades and pretend I am not crying as Maria and her class make the leap from 7th grade to their final year in her K-8 school.
33. Decide what I am going to wear to said High school Reunion, then change my mind no less than 83 times. Take an asprin to ward off heart attack brought on by thinking of seeing everyone
34. Remind the kids to put on sunscreen, in front of their team, while I am rubbing more on their face for them.
35. Exchange witty emails dripping with dry humor with my friend, Mrs. Mouthy
36. Watch ridiculous tv that has no educational, historical, or learning value. Such as Guliana and Bill, Million Dollar Properties, Married to Jonas, True Life, or anything on Bravo.
37. Post something on FB that gets more than 25 likes. It may be necessary to blog about my second worst day of high school to accomplish this. People love to read about my embarrassment.

38. KICK MORRIE for reminding me that I am not turning 37, but 38. DAMN HIM.

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