My Worst Day of High School

Now that Isabelle is about to go into 9th grade, I have been telling her stories about my own high school experience, in hopes that she can laugh a little and learn that high school is a completely different universe compared to grade school.
I have already told her about the time I were working in a small group in math and my group was talking about where to buy drugs (I was decidedly quiet), about the time I asked a boy to a dance and he said no (he was waiting for someone else to ask him- and no, he didn't need to tell me that), and about how the girl next to me in Biology tried to convince me to let her copy off my test (except she didn't know I totally and completely did not understand a word of Biology).
I also told her about the good times too- those just aren't as funny as the not so good times.

And so our story begins.

At the end of sophomore year, I was feeling pretty great. I had made some good friends playing volleyball, felt secure in my circle of girls, and we were going to be Juniors! We were going to be able to choose several classes going in to Junior year and I couldn't wait. Upperclassman! They were soo cool, soo mature, and I was going to be one. I had some high hopes for myself. I just knew that my bad hair days were behind me and boys were going to actually like me this next year. It was going to be rad!
I wanted to put in my application for Yearbook for the upcoming year. I was very excited. It seemed like the perfect place for me to start my life as a Junior. I was interested in design, typeface, layout, photography, and here was my chance to put those together.
I waited nervously for 2 weeks and much to my dismay, I was not chosen for Yearbook. This seemed like a repeat of the previous year when I tried out for Cheerleading. I worked really hard at all of the practices, perfected my tryout routine and just knew in the depths of my soul that I was MEANT to be a cheerleader. I could see myself in the uniform. That may have been because my sister let me try on her old uniform, but none the less, this was my destiny. When the list was posted and my name wasn't on it, I walked out of the school as quickly as I could, got in the car for the ride home from school (with 6 friends who lived near me) and had tears silently slide down my face for 20 miles until we got home. It took me a while to get over that one.
The Yearbook news made me crumble a bit inside, but I still had volleyball, right? Plus, I was going to be a JUNIOR. You can't deny the god like status that upperclassman had. They knew their way around, had the good lockers, had 2 years worth of friends, chose their own classes, and had lunch off campus.
I prepared that summer for volleyball tryouts by going to camp with my teammates and was stoked about my life as I knew it would unfold. Yearbook was a distant memory- at least I was trying to squash it down like one. Volleyball tryouts lasted 4 days, and I was happy to have this circle of friends around me again. On the fourth day, the coaches sat on the far side of the gym and talked quietly while we scrimmaged. I remember having awesome block where my team mates high fived me. I looked over at the coaches, but they hadn't seen it. I brushed it off. I was feeling confident. That whole Yearbook memory was fading fast. The coaches read the names of the girls who made JV- but I was a Junior, so my name wasn't on that list. Then she read the names of the girls who made Varsity. Then she thanked us all.
Wait. You didn't say my name. Are you sure? Do you want to double check your list? By this time my heart was a little bit hard. This sucked. What was wrong with me anyway? I had just gotten my braces off, didn't they know my life was supposed to be perfect now? Couldn't they see my straight teeth and immediately tell that I was immune to sophomoric mistakes, that I was a Junior! This was not really in my plan, and I wondered how they didn't know this.
I took a deep breath. I told myself it was okay. I collected my emotions and dumped them in a box and taped it up really good. I thought about going to go to registration the next day where I will get a good locker, and see who was in my classes. This would all be fine. I am an upperclassman now and I would just push that box to the furthest corner of my brain that I could find.
I woke up the next morning and spent quite a bit of time with my curling iron and a bottle of hairspray. I wanted to look perfect for my yearbook photo. If I couldn't help plan the yearbook, then I was sure as hell going to look good in it. Our pictures were going to be in color this year, because we were upperclassman. This was awesome. Finally! I went through registration, got my locker on the 2nd floor, made my way between the buildings and finally made it to the class list. Our Junior class would be divided into 3 groups and all of our classes would be with those people in our group. My group was called "MN". How exciting! I was giddy as I made my way to the list of names. Who was going to be in MN with me? As I ran my finger down the list of names, not one looked familiar.
I slowly re-read the list. What? Not a single person who I had been friends with over the past 2 years was on my list. My stomach dropped. I felt hot. What was going on? I was in my third year and I wasn't going to know anyone? This couldn't be happening. Lunch was going to be off campus for crying out loud. Who would I go with? I felt like I was going to throw up. I left in a daze. By the time I got home, I wanted to be anything but an upperclassman.
Morning came on the first day of my Junior year. The experience of what this year was going to be like, that I had been visualizing all summer, was in the garbage can. I was full of nerves all morning. Getting through math class and French class was not a big deal. I just picked a desk in the back, kept my head down and tried not to sweat. It was coming though. The class right before lunch was Collegio- for normal people you might call it homeroom- with all 60 people in my MN group. This was crucial. I would have to go from this class to lunch, and not a single person had plans to stay on campus for lunch. Was I going to be the only Junior in the lunchroom? I couldn't even think of a dark corner somewhere that I could hole up in for the lunch period. What I didn't know was that I had embarassment of epic proportions coming before lunch.
I picked a desk in the middle of the room, as I needed to spend the next hour looking around and trying to come up with a plan. Would there be anyone who I would be willing to approach about going to lunch? I began to look at the faces around me. Sixty people. I think I felt sweat trickle down my back. One of the teachers asked us to break into small groups for a history exercise. Wait, she didn't say small groups, she said pairs. I looked to either side of me. Everyone in my vicinity turned away from me and paired up people on their other side.

Oh My God.

I frantically searched for anyone to catch my eye- someone. Please. Somewhere. Shit shit shit shit.I think my hands were numb. The teacher looked around to make sure everyone had a pair. Then she said it. "Does anyone not have a partner?"
I was throwing up in my mouth. ohmygod. There were NOT 60 people in my class. There were FIFTY NINE. I had an out of body experience. I felt my arm raise. It may have been shaking. I probably wanted to die. If there was a hole in the earth, I wanted to be in it. Five minutes ago. I felt the blood rush in my ears, drowning out whatever she said next. I think it was something along the lines of "Would someone PLEASE let Andrea be in their group? I will give you 5 extra points if you do. I know you don't know her. Let's consider it a Community Service project, shall we?"
This would be a good time for an earthquake. Or a fire. Somehow, two (actually nice) guys behind me, said I could be in their group. This was horribly miserable. Let's just announce to the entire class that I am a MORON and I SUCK and I HAVE NO FRIENDS. I felt like I had been branded.
I wasn't much help to the 2 guys as I was still pre-occupied with figuring out my lunch hour. Somehow class ended. I wasn't paying attention. People were gathering their things and chatting with their friends. I slowly put my books in my bag and felt like the most retarded Junior ever. Across the room, I saw someone who I knew, but hadn't really spoken with for 2 years. I slumped my shoulders and walked over to her with my bag dragging on the carpet behind me.
Okay, maybe I didn't look that defeated, but it sure felt that way. She was standing with 4 other girls chatting and laughing. I built up some courage from somewhere that I wasn't aware existed and asked what she was doing for lunch. My heart hammered in my head. She very kindly said she was going out and invited me to come along.
Umm...yes! She then introduced me to the other girls. They were surprisingly very nice. I let go a deep breath that I didn't realize I had been holding. The massive insecurity and depressing ache I had been carrying around all morning slowly lifted. We went out. They were nice. They were funny, and they would become my close girlfriends that year. One of them, whom I had met for the very first time that day, would in time, become the best friend I would ever have.
That morning was in fact my worst day of high school. (cue uplifting lusic) Junior year ended up being not so bad (it seriously had nowhere to go but up). I ended up joining the Swim Team that November- because they didn't have tryouts, and nobody got cut! I was told there was this cute guy there from our class who was a good swimmer. I didn't know him, and never would have any classes with him, but when I saw him for the first time...

he in fact

was

pretty cute!

Things were looking up!