My so called "Night"

I am too old for this...

(This is a re-creation of last Tuesday night. We had put Annie to bed noticing that she seemed really bloated for some reason.To preface this story our small dog sleeps in a large dog crate each night with blankets and many of her stuffed animals)

11:45pm - Annie (the dog) barks
11:46pm- I pretend it didn't happen and hope it doesn't happen again
11:47pm- Damnit. Annie barks again. I shut my eyes tighter.
(she doesn't usually do this)
11:48pm- I get up and take her outside. She takes for.ev.er.

11:55pm- Put her back in crate, and now my feet are freezing.
11:57pm- She barks again
11:58pm- Morrie takes her downstairs and lets her walk around. She walks right over to one of her lovies (stuffed dog toy) picks it up and walks back to the stairs to go to bed. How cute.

12:00am- Morrie puts her back in the crate. We sigh, and lay our heads back down.
12:05am- She barks again
12:07am- I grab a pillow (I want to suffocate myself) and the dog and go downstairs. I take her back outside and set up her crate by the back door and get comfortable on the couch

12:15am- I realize that by leaving the crate door open in hopes she would just walk around and lay down somewhere, I have made a mistake. She is running all over the downstairs playing with her animal friends.

12:45am- I am still awake.
12:55am- I have finally fallen asleep and am woken up by strange noises from upstairs. I get up and Annie has jumped over the baby gate at the stairs and is walking around Maria's room looking for stuff to chew on, poop on, play with, etc.
12:57am- I grab her and put her back in the crate, this time with the door firmly locked.

2:00am- The Dog barks and needs out again.
2:10am- She took seemingly 3 years outside, I am thinking she must have a stomach ache, and get her settled back in the crate.

2:25am- I wake up to throwing up noises and literally fly off the couch to get the poor dog out of her crate. It's not the dog. It's the friggin' cat throwing up all over the kitchen floor.

2:35am- Just as I think I have re-warmed my blankets on the couch, the dog barks and wants out again. I get up and let her out. Only this time, she just stands on the deck starring at me. I tell her I am NOT in the mood for games and put her back in the crate and decidedly slam the door.

I fall asleep and have a nightmare that I let the dog out the back door and she gets attacked by a wolf hound. It wasn't pretty.

4:00am- The damn dog barks. I let her out. She stands on the deck starring at me. I try banging my head against the floor, but I am already awake and THIS nightmare is really my life.
4:06am- I put the damn dog back in the crate and settle down on my pillow. The cat decides to jump ON the crate and scare the dog, the dog goes nuts and I proceed with a rush of adrenaline that doesn't allow me to fall back asleep for 10 minutes.

4:30am- The god-forsaken dog barks AGAIN. I let her out and she is gone for 10 minutes. I know she is not meeting some cute Lab out there because she is FIXED. I have visions of a house that doesn't have pets.

While I am waiting for her to return, the cat wants out. I let him out and before I can close the door he walks back in. He does this 3 more times.When the god-forsaken dog returns, I toss the cat outside and mutter to myself all the bad words I can think of.

4:40 The dog is whining, so I let her out of the crate, she runs around the house for 5 minutes and then I grab her in a full nelson and make her lay down with me and we fall asleep together.

I get up at 6:30, get dressed, take the kids to school and then spent 2 hours at the dentist getting my innards scraped out through my gums.

By the time I got to work at 12:30 and was sitting in a meeting, I was on the verge of tears.

An Expose with Mrs. Mouthy

I am so excited. This is my first professional interview with someone. It is an "expose" of sorts. You will be allowed into a world of intrigue, mystery and suspense.

Oh wait, that is something else I was thinking of...this is just me asking a few questions to a very funny, thirty-something, kinnect addicted mother. I have known her...let's see...I think my whole life. No hold on...she is younger than me, so I guess I have known her HER whole life. We like to communicate via sarcastic filled emails even though I drive by her street twice a day. One night I am going to just drop by and see how that goes.

She is a blogger (like me), she is very creative (like me), she is funny (like me), and after that she is decidedly NOT like me. She likes to cook, she makes fun of her husband WAY more than I make fun of Morrie, and she has to play boy games as she has all boys. I know NOTHING about cooking or how to be a mother to little boys.

You can find the stories she references and other funny musings at: www.mrsmouthy.wordpress.com
(I am the BOLD, and the is not. What? It's my blog and I make the rules here).

Name: "Mrs. Mouthy"
You live with...: "Husband, son, baby son, and gay cat"
You wish you lived with: "Your entire family in our basement"
(this can be arranged to begin on Thursday)

List 3 hobbies: "Cooking, Scrapbooking, and Entertaining"
(this sounds suspiciously like Martha Stewart, and let me tell you, her skills are also suspicisouly like Martha Stewart)

Now, really list what you do in your spare time: "Have Epic battles with older son, try to keep baby from crying (failing right now), and clean the blimey pasta maker"

What Chef would you most like to have cook a meal for you and why: "Giada DeLaurentiis b/c she's hhhhhhhhot (and she loves wheat and dairy)"
(I can't believe she knows that chick's last name. Morrie also thinks Giada is hhhhhot)

I notice that your son rarely wears a full set of clothing. Can you elaborate on this? "Would you wear pants if you had legs like his?"

I also notice that your youngest son frequently wears footed pajamas. Are you trying to kill me with those? "BANG"

What are your favorite TV channels to watch? "Comedy Central, Food Network and whichever channel Kendra is on"
(I am so glad I am not the only one watching Kendra)

How did you and your husband meet?
"Blind Date. Incredibly, the minute our hands touched, he was no longer blind."

What was the nicest gift your husband ever gave to you?
"Can't disclose (it's not dirty though). Second favorite; my camera bag."
(She didn't fall in to my trap, let's rephrase that)

Did you keep it?
"Ohhh... I see what you're getting at. Ok, the nicest gift he ever got me was a $2,000 Louis Vuitton bag that I promptly returned. The next nicest was a $100 camera bag that I cherish. It is right now in the car, nestled between the stroller and half a hot dog I keep forgetting to throw away."

What is your biggest insecurity (don't worry, only like...five people read my blog)?
"That I have said something that offends someone or makes them not like me. I am so junior high. But seriously, only five people? Maybe you're the one who should be worried..."

Explain to the readers how much comments on your blog posts mean to you.
"Oh man. Like, I remember kind of feeling happy when I used to work and it was pay day. Comments are WAAAAAYYYY better than that."
(readers may now take the appropriate steps to leave comments after each visit)

Did anything about motherhood surprise you?
"I didn't know you get to feel that "falling head over heels in love" thing all over again... or that it would last this long."

What do you know about yourself today that you didn't know five years ago?
"That when faced with something inconceivably tragic, I will handle it with grace and strength."
(she is not kidding)

Does it feel like these questions are never going to end?
"These questions are all about me. I'm hoping they never end!"
The questions might not ever end because I will be laying awake tonight at 11:36 PM and probably think of some more.
"Please restate in question form."

Does it seem weird that we haven't hung out more together?
"It totally does. I blame you."

As you can see, Mrs. Mouthy is incredibly funny and I hope to bring you more expose interviews with other people who read this blog. However, I can't guarantee that an expose with my dad will be nearly as funny. Thanks Mrs. Mouthy!

Either or...

I have 2 scenarios that happened to myself this week and I can't decide which was worse.

Scenario #1: It is a holiday, and although I have to work, I am making the best of it. I have made it to work early. Therefore, I get to leave work early. AWESOME! I check the bus schedule, make my plan and scoot out a little before 5:00pm. I am very excited to have some extra time with the kids this evening.

As I run to the bus stop I imagine catching this super early bus, getting across the lake with enough time to run to the grocery store and STILL be home early. This is going to be GREAT. Best night EVER.

I arrive at the bus stop and wait for a few minutes. Then my stomach drops into my feet as I realize, I went to a different park and ride this morning and the bus that will actually take me to my car is actually 3 blocks away from where I am currently standing.

Shucks! Alright....I may have made an exclamation that was not shucks.

I RUN to the bus stop that I am really supposed to be at. I wait. I wait. I call Morrie to have him check the schedule online for me. I wait. I wait. I have seen multiple buses going to everywhere except to where I want to go. Where is my bus? I wait.

Apparently, I had just missed my bus as I was standing 3 blocks over at the wrong bus stop...and being a holiday, the bus I was waiting for never came. Metro calls it a "holiday schedule", so I sat there for over 30 darn minutes. In the cold. In the wind. My plan shot to hell.

Eventually I made it home. Was this night in question better or worse than...

Scenario #2: I am buying some beer. The cashier rings it up and the cash register literally beeps at him and "CHECK ID" pops up on his screen.

Wait for it...

He hits the override button and tells me my total is $23.50.

Really? Sigh...

Am I old enough to have them not even take a second look? To not even consider that I could maybe, possibly require an ID check?

This blows.

Yes, we had a Christmas

I have been remiss about posting Christmas pictures because I have been lazy. Lazy, okay? I said it. Now karma is biting me in the butt because I keep trying to edit these photos and the edits are not saving. So you are going to have to overlook the red eye, the dim light and the un-cropped chaos that was our Christmas.

Here is my elf.

Santa lets me keep her down here all year long. I think sometimes that Santa is either trying my patience or testing my sanity. It's ok though, she is pretty cute.

This is unbridled joy as my teenager opens her gift from Grandma (who she calls Emma) and realizes that she has the best Emma in the WHOLE WORLD. She looks over at Emma with the "Oh my GAAAWWWWD! No you DIDN'T!" look.

Isabelle has just opened a new kindle. Her hearts desire.

I would like to point out that she had no such expression upon opening any of the gifts from her parents. Emma just kicked our ass.

I can't wait to be a grandparent and do this to Isabelle.

This is a whoppee cushion. It made be giggle and cry and hold my stomach. It was funny.

This is 2 brothers getting as much enjoyment from a whoppee cushion as they would have had they been 10 and 12. Go figure. But since they are 35 and 37, they made the baby sit on it. But, they laughed just as hard -if not harder. Especially since the baby would yell "Excuuuuuuse ME!".

(yes, he is 3 and I call him a baby, I am sure he appreciates this)

This is my ham. She opened an actual book. OMG, actual books get big kudos as well e-books in our house.

This is what I felt like after having 4 rounds of opening gifts in 2 days.

Tuesday: Before and After

Here is today's Before and After situation. We have a kitchen table. It is the center of our universe. Everything from eating, bill paying, homework, snacking, present wrapping, newspaper reading and a whole lot more happens here. Thus picture #1:

(Hey, I just re-read this and by "a whole lot more", I meant craft projects, coloring, watching tv, playing cards and stuff like that! This is a G rated blog!).

Except for when I swear. But back to the pictures...



This is what happens when Mom gets in a mood and throws everything in the garbage!

Kidding! I am just kidding!

Probably.

This is what happens when we set the table for once in our lives.

Notice only 2 white bowls. We have broken all of the others. Morrie would like to pretend we are grown ups and actually buy a matching set of dishes. GASP! Who lives like that?

Last time I checked we were not having any government officials, royal family members or dignitaries over to share a meal. Our friends do not base their friendship with us based on the quality or quantity of our dishes.

Do they?

We weren't even able to keep the table like this for long. I had to ask Maria 3 times to take her homework out of my shot. Do we not have any other flat surfaces in this house???

Mommy's blogging is a priority over homework, get it together kid!

Posting Ideas

Bloggers have all sorts of ideas about posts and posting and stuff. Sometimes bloggers have specific things they post on Thursdays, or Sundays...and it can help keep the creative juices flowing if you have a regular subject to write about.

So I thought I would brainstorm with the girls on ideas about what I could post on certain days of the week. We are all sitting around- Maria is reading a book, and Isabelle is cruising around on the laptop- perfect time for a family discussion.

10 things (I frequently like to post 10 random thoughts) and Maria thinks I should call it "Ten Tuesday"

Fry Friday- talk about the best places to get french fries in our area. This would require a lot of research. A lot.

Soccer Saturday ...and possibly Soccer Sunday to augment it.

Wishful Wednesday- talk about things I wish for, or the girls are wishing for. I think this might be a ploy for them to hit me up for stuff...

Mad Monday- Isabelle wants me to talk about all the things I get mad about. I am thinking I get mad too often when she is around.

Now I am irritated with Isabelle because she just suggested Weak Wednesday where I can talk about all the things that make me tired. Do I suck?

She is now trying to save face and came up with Terrific Tuesday to talk about the good things going on around here. Evidently those things won't involve her angry, exhausted mother.

This is not really going the direction I wanted it to. I was thinking about regular posts that involved talking about creativity/drawing/inspiration one day, or organizational ideas the next, or ranting about the MLS one day a week and then perhaps highlighting the best looking players- I mean the most talented players-...

I would really appreciate some discussion and help regarding this matter. Maybe one day a week I will read my regular list of blogs and just steal one of their ideas. That sounds good.